FEW DAYS AGO I got a job interview invitation from a dotcom company downtown. I couldn’t recall the position I applied when the caller asked me to attend it and bring along my complete CV document. Since my less-healthy condition, I took two days leave and these provided me enough time to prepare things. Then I opened my personal files again, updated some information in my resume and the application letter, and printed ‘em out. A while after I came to my senses that I’ve been working this long, and wondered what I have achieved so far?

Nothing special, to be honest. After my exciting journey of searching ideal work, I landed to this editor job in the biggest printing mass media company and been here for 8 years. Do I feel content?

I had a wonderful time here though when my superior allowed me to create a magazine that was completely coming from my mind. Each and every pieces of it was my obsession, my passionate ideas, and was using a lot of my childhood backgrounds. That time I was on top of my best performance in my career life, I think. I came to this thought that I was not working; I was having fun. Yet I only gainned personal satisfaction. My company never once recognized my hard work. Pity, eh?

I never complained. I keep adapting and adopting to remain good, stable worker with positive attitude. What did I get? Sidejobs. So instead of tortured by reality that bites, I disclose myself to wider possibility. My company never provides me trainings or other opportunities to learn or know useful skills related to my work tasks. I can hardly know the HRD crew. They are so ignorant and exclusive. This is in fact number 1 failure that this company must resolve very soon.

I still stay strong. Call me energetic or dork, but I refused to move out from this hell hole and kept working hard and opened as many opportunity as possible. So there, lots of sidejobs laid in front of me. I took it with gladness, done each of it enthusiastically. Until it came the moment when your body couldn’t keep up with your desire to live to the fullest.

Now I reconsider the other possibility I can take if I move forward and leave my present job. Obviously I will gain back my health, and my luxurious time to catch up my dream to write fictions or exercise my cooking skill. Once I had a conversation with a friend about resigning my work. She said, ‘Why not? You have many talents, you’ll survive. More over, you don’t have anyone you should support.’ Well yes indeed, I pay my own bills and some of mom’s domestic bills of course. But it doesn’t bother me at all. I can safe some, fulfill my basic needs. And I’m not a kind who likes to shop around. My big spend is when I make a trip out of town or abroad. Got my sidejobs covered its cost.

Yeah, why not? I will wait for the dotcom confirmation then. I know I will face another problem and probably have a hard time adjusting. But I must take my step to move out of this box. I must.